Dad is recovering in the hospital, 2 weeks ago he had a brain hemorrhage in the left side of his brain. A brain hemorrhage the size of a lime. His state is delicate, tho, seems like the most dangerous time is over. He lost the speech and most of the movility on his right side. There is a long recovery ahead of us.
This post is not really about him, it is about me and the very clear message I received last week when I saw my father fighting for his life, when I said goodbye twice to the man that gave me life, when for the first time in my adult life I was hysterical and I had no idea what to do, when I signed twice to be responsible for his life since we were doing things against the “advisable doctor” at that moment. I finally understood what things are important for me in this life. it was very clear that my love for dad is unconditional, that I do not care if we do not see eye to eye or if our beliefs are so different we could be from different planets. I understood that to be myself and keep my beliefs I do not need his approval and I do not need for him to think the same way I do. I understood I get to be myself and he gets to be himself, we can hold hands and see opposite worlds, I understood that if I stopped trying to convince him how right I am, therefore how wrong he is …. we can love, respect and accept each other. Now, I do not know if I will be able to fully be with him again. I am very grateful to Federica for pushing me to “make peace with him” at least I know we were both trying to heal our relationship and I will forever be grateful to her about it. Thank you Momentum for being in Seattle, I love you!
Do not wait until you see somebody on their deathbed to figure out what is truly in your heart, what is truly important for you. Respect yourself and respect the person in front of you. You have no idea what’s next in anybody’s life.