Communication

Until recently I have been very closed of, I feel very intensively and I have very strong opinions and if you are at the opposite end of my opinion I had never been afraid of let you know … But that is not real communication, that is not opening my heart and sharing from a loving, open perspective my hurts, my likes and dislikes, what makes me tick. Very rarely I share when I have been hurt, I mean it is obvious because I am like an open book, you can read any emotion. But you would not know why. Until very recently I never thought I had the right to “feel” and to let you know. I always thought that loving somebody meant that I had to “take” anything and be there for the person regardless if I was been hurt, emotionally hurt or if I was not been heard, etc.

Now I am learning how to express my feelings, I am learning that I have a choice when I do not want to do something. I am learning to express my thoughts and my hurt trying to not hurt the other person, to not make him/her feel bad. Just expressing my own emotions, like Brené Brown’s quote: “What if we were willing to acknowledge our own hurt and pain, and in doing so make sure not to diminish the hurt and pain of others? We could change the world”, this is where I would like to arrive to, express myself without making the other person wrong.

It is so interesting to me, the more I accept that I am valuable and my emotions are valid no matter what. Not the reactions, not the explosions, not the make the other person wrong or yelling and screaming. Just the emotions, it is valid for me to get angry or sad and to have my opinions, I am learning to respect myself as a whole being.

This realization, this validating myself, my thoughts and feelings is making me strong enough to not have to yell and scream to validate my existence. It is making strong enough to not only accept and validate myself but to validate and accept others.